Segwayne.com

Day 5: rough start

November 15, 2008 · No Comments

Day 5 of the 8 day trip is off to a rough start.

To catch the ride to the airport for a 9:30 flight, I had to get up at 5 am to shower, last check of the hotel, then check out. All packed, I head down about 5:45 and decide to pick up another (hopefully the last) $2.50 20 oz Coke rather than their $17.99 buffet breakfast.

Retrieving the lukewarm Coke from the cooler, I turn and I’m damned if I didn’t trip ass-over-teakettle over a badly-placed planter. Sprawled out across the floor, my knee and lower shin bruised, up comes the security detail to make sure I fill out the appropriate forms to alleviate the Hilton of legal liability.

Offensive to me that they’re more concerned about their liability than my well being, but that is the way of the politically correct world it seems. At least they moved the planter.

Checked out, grabbed the overcrowded communal ride van. Made it to the Orlando airport finally, about 7am. Checked in, then was harassed by everyone’s favorite Air Nazis, the TSA.

First my shoes and belt weren’t acceptable, then my laptop had to be removed from the bag. Then the laptop had to be removed and placed in it’s own basket. Then the GPS and camera had to be removed, THEN the jacket had to be inspected, THEN, standing there partially undressed, belt and shoes confiscated, to add insult to injury, they stole the goddamned Coke that I had just gone through hell to get.

Not to worry though, they have plenty of 20 oz Coke products to sell me for $3.00 INSIDE the gate. They’ll let you give them money then take it on the plane, but God forbid you actually try to bring your own.

Fscking nazis…

Now, I’m sitting here, bruised, harassed, flustered, and outright angry with over 2 hours to spare, waiting on the plane to Cinci and inevitable layover Baltimore/Washington DC. My chest is now hurting as well from the earlier fall, so walking through BWI sounds like so much fun later.

No wonder the airlines are going out of business. Anyone want to bet me they’re next in line for a gubment 500 billion dollar bailout check?

→ No CommentsCategories: Random babbling
Tagged: , , , , , , , ,

Day 4: structural collapse

November 15, 2008 · No Comments

Day 4, and I’m literally too tired to stay awake. Woke up, went to display at the show. Everyone broke down a little early, so after breaking down the booth, I went to change into street clothes and found myself waking up and groggy 3 hours later. No Disney park for me today, so I walked out the door of the hotel and straight into Downtown Disney for a bit of a stroll and some last minute shopping.

A quick boat ride later, and I’m at the other end of the big mall, standing in line to see the latest Bond flick, Quantum of Solace.

One-paragraph review is that the latest Bond flick is much more consistent with the action in this second installment of the “reimagined Bond” starring Daniel Craig. To me, he’s much more Bond-like, much less cheesy than Roger Moore or others. This movie however really feels very much like an episodic sequel to the last movie, picking up exactly where the last left off.

Would it stand on its own? I don’t think it would because of the tightly wound continuance, but I believe that the writing for this movie was completed before the last one even wrapped. It’s that tightly linked to the last.

6.5 out of 10.

After the movie, rather than catching the boat back, I strolled the entire mall, ending up at a forgettable chain, pseudo-irish pub in search of a real Irish stew. Unfortunately since the Henry the VIII hotel in Saint Louis closed about 10 years ago, all I’ve found in “Irish Pubs” was canned beef stew with a little Guiness poured in.. Yuck…

Ended up with a yuppy Chicken dish and topped it off with a sip of 12-year-old Glenfiddich single malt scotch. Suitable, but somehow disappointing.

→ No CommentsCategories: Movie Reviews · Random babbling
Tagged: , , , ,

Day 3: Disney’s Magic Kingdom

November 13, 2008 · No Comments

Did I mention I am exhausted?

Anyway, I’m a firm believer that every child in the world has been indoctrinated into the world of Disney by way of a trip to the Magic Kingdom. My first trip here I believe, was around age 7.

Little sister was still about the size of a sack of potatoes and had not yet reached the age where she broke Goofy’s nose during her first-ever theme park visit.

I also have this awe-inspired memory of the roof of the A-framed “Disney Contemporary Hotel” (by far their oldest btw) which seemed to be about a thousand feet tall to my 7 year old mind.

Fast forward 35 years and the roof has gotten a little lower. The doors a little tighter, and I’m still able to get away with buying and wearing totally stupid hats. In this case, a traditional cowboy hat intended to keep the sun off that I forgot to mention buying yesterday.

Keeping with the exhausted mantra, sorry for babbling, but stepping into the Magic Kingdom still invokes that feeling of giddy childishness in me. The desire to run from ride to ride, consuming copious amounts of soda, and just getting completely swept away in the moment.

Today, I had three hours to play by the time the bus got us there. Not a lot of time, but miraculously the rides were not crowded at all. In fact, the worst wait I saw was for the kid’s rides in Tomorrowland.

In fact, I pretty much bounced between Pirates of the Carribean, Space Mountain, and Haunted Mansion repeatedly without more than a 10 minute wait at any. Wait. Sorry, check that. It was a 25 minute wait for Space Mountain so only once this time.

As for the rest, the Hall of Presidents was closed to make way for our newest President, and — sadly I must report that — I’ve become a Pirates of the Caribbean purist.

I find that while I love some of the updates to the Haunted Mansion (to include tips of the hat to the horrible Eddie Murphy movie adaptation of the same name), I am upset that they’ve re-tooled Pirates of the Caribbean to be mostly about Captain Jack Sparrow and the Pirates trilogy.

It’s just not the same any more.. Whimper, whine, sob…

Now generations of children will be raised to think that the ride is JUST about the movie, meaning that as soon as people forget about the movie, the ride — which has stood for almost 3 decades — will become phased out and meaningless.

The price of progress I guess, but I’m glad to say I’m one of the people who fondly remembers the ride as it should have remained.

Tomorrow, I’ve still got one day left on my pass, and since the show is over, I’m debating whether to do the “Disney’s Hollywood” park, or just spend the night tooling around Disney Downtown (which is literally 3 minutes walk from the hotel I’m staying in) and catching the new Bond flick.

I hate to waste the Disney ticket (since I’m leaving EARLY Saturday AM for the DC show) but frankly I may simply be too tired to traverse another theme park. I’m SURE crawling the 2 square mile shopping mall will be MUCH easier… RIGHT….

Then again, going to see Bond here will fill my quota for the hobby of seeing a movie in every state I’ve ever visited.

→ No CommentsCategories: Random babbling
Tagged: , , , ,

Day 2: Disney’s Animal Kingdom

November 12, 2008 · No Comments

Day 2 of my scurrying around at Disney. Display floor of the show closed, I’m exhausted, but hey, this is Orlando and it’s federal crime to be in Orlando and not feeding your money directly into the mouth of “The Mouse” (local name for Disney enterprises), so here I am. Off to the Animal Kingdom.

Another of the Disney Parks that I’ve never been to, the Animal Kingdom held a lot of promise for me, since I love Zoos, and I am in fact, a member of the great ape family.. :)

Sadly, I found myself disappointed with this park. The highly taunted Safari was nice, and by the time I arrived it was still light enough that they were out in abundance. The problem is, this was about like riding through a zoo on a Segway at 20mph. “Ooh, look over there at that Lioness, oops, you missed it” kinda thing.

The rest of the park was nice enough, and I’m sure that if I weren’t exhausted, I’d be far more forgiving, but being in a place that charges $10 for a VERY badly prepared McDonald’s cheeseburger, fries and a Coke, it sort of starts to wear on your sensibilities.

Frankly though, light or not, there just didn’t seem that much to do at the Animal Kingdom for an adult.

→ No CommentsCategories: Random babbling
Tagged: , ,

Day 1: Epcot

November 11, 2008 · No Comments

This week, I’m down in Orlando for an actual, honest-to-goodness trade show. Lots of work and coordination between the show and work, but it leaves me the hours between 4 pm and 9 or so to go experience the World that is Disney.

Specifically, since I’d never been before and figure I’ve only got 3 hours to play, I headed straight to Epcot Center after checking into the hotel. Originally, I thought the park closed at 7, but — yay is me — it closes at 9pm on a Tuesday for some unknown reason…

Let me just say that for years, I had been told how horrible Epcot was, and how it was a waste of time. It was also on the list of restricted activities from the ex when we were here about 10 years ago, which makes it all the more fitting to suddenly remember that I’m walking around her favorite place on Earth (Disney) on what I refer to as my “ex-iversary”.

In fact, of all four Disney parks, the only one I’ve ever been to was the Magic Kingdom, though I’m one of the rare who’s actually been to the “World” in Florida as well as the “Land” park in Cali… I was 4 at the time, but the parentals have pictures, so yeah, I’ve gotz me some proof..

Anyway, I honestly feel that Epcot very much equals the Magic Kingdom park in my mind. Where the Kingdom has the overwhelming sense of “It’s a small world” and fond memories, Epcot is a more relaxed, adult place which still has rides, shops, and — dare I say it…. — BEER… I’m all about a beautiful place that has world-wide brews available and can serve me authentic food from 7 countries…

Picked up a pint in Scotland, strolled through the shops, and stopped in Japan for a great (albeit expensive) meal at the Teppan Edo steak house.

Then, just to re-think the whole beer idea, I decided to go on the rides. For those of you visiting Epcot, here’s a great tip if you’re single (or there alone as I was). Epcot LOVES single riders. Apparently they need single riders to help fill the seats, since families are seemingly always in odd numbers.

Not once or twice, but 6 times was I whisked aboard a ride with a long 30+ minute wait to walk past the crowds as though I had the magic “fast pass”. The longest wait at “Test Track” was 90 minutes. I was able to board and ride in 4 minutes. I LOVE EPCOT!

→ No CommentsCategories: Random babbling
Tagged: , , , , , , , , ,

I concede on the Buffy Paradox…

November 5, 2008 · 1 Comment

Having been raised in a world where Kristy Swanson WAS “Buffy”, and having been essentially forbidden to watch the like-titled TV series from the beginning when I was married, I never quite got into it, though I LOVE the spin-off series “Angel”.  Go figure…

So, finally, after hearing friends — like friend o’ the blog Kerri over at Shameless TV – rave about the show for years, I find myself openly receptive to starting at the first season with episode 1 to see what all the spaz is about…

Problem is, I don’t own season 1, and I’m not sure I’m interested in wasting $30 to grab season 1 on DVD, not yet knowing whether or not it’s a keeper for me.  So, that leaves me with the ubiquitous netflix, iTunes (ick), or finding a friend that may have it available.  That is, of course, unless you guys have a better idea?

→ 1 CommentCategories: Television
Tagged: , , ,

What ever happened to “for the people”? (aka, I’m a socialist?)

October 25, 2008 · No Comments

I was having lunch today with a nameless friend, discussing obviously politics and religion — like ya do, but are always told not to amongst friends..

I offered in my train of thought, altruistically (so I thought) that if worst came to worst with the US economy, this area’s economy collapsed like other parts of the country, and I could sacrifice my financial status and my belongings as long as I knew that we, as a idyllic nation would survive intact, I would be perfectly ok with that.

To my amazement, this drew literal gasps (in shock and horror I imagined) and comments about how I was “a socialist” and support “the redistribution of wealth”…

I didn’t see it at the time, and to a large extent, I still don’t really.  All I meant was that I don’t believe either candidate will be able to save the economy.  One will follow established the failed patterns and policies that got us here, the other of untested quality under the pressures of a failing economy, two unnecessary wars, etc..  Unfortunately neither party offered up a better candidate, so… They’re “what we got”.

So, what DO I believe that got me here?

I believe that government needs to stay the hell out of our pockets (as individuals. I do not feel the same view for rich corporations).  I feel that people are wholly responsible for their own status in life, good or bad,  However, at the same time, I believe that the government has a great responsibility to work for the public well being, instead of for itself, or lobbyists which is the way it is now.

I believe every human being has the right to quality affordable (if not free) health care but the system here is so broken down and corrupt that honest hard-working people in America are having to pass up on even basic health care because it costs more per month than they make in a week (if not two).

Trust me.  While I’ve been blessed enough (not a religious statement, a confirmation of my luck in life so far) to have good jobs and a steady income, I worked for it, only to have my basic Blue Cross/Blue Shield policy (which didn’t pay for anything except really major medical) go from $165 to almost $300 per month over the course of two years.

I see doctors charging $3600 for what amounts to an IV full of painkillers, a couple of X-rays and some rental time in a bed (which happened to me with a kidney stone).  All while the same doctors complain about the system and having to hire 5x the size of their necessary staff JUST to handle the paperwork from the outrageous claims.  Claims they’re forced to inflate because the insurance companies refuse to pay for anything realistic.

If, for example, said doctors charged the insurance company $600 for said services, they would have probably received $60 with a warning that they should “charge appropriately”.

While I believe that we, as human beings are responsible for our own destiny and the government should stop interfering, I also believe that it’s time for a “reboot” if you will, to fix all the problems which caused what will end up being trillions of “bailout”  debt.

While I’m sure there are those of you here who will gladly argue the point against, and I don’t want the government in my pocket any more than you do, I just think that we — as a nation — pretty much earned where we are today, and everyone is going to have to compromise to some extent to get out of it.

Just a few of my wacky socialist ideas…:

- Stop spending 10 billion a month in a war no one wants, ever wanted, or even cares about except for the wasted money.  That money alone could pay for the ever-unpopular “universal health care” (of which I’m not necessarily a fan, I’m just making a point here).

- Don’t give Alaska another dime until it coughs up the money it stole for “the bridge to nowhere”.  In fact, do a big ass audit for all states that have wasted money fudging in rider bills to grant tax exemptions to “laminated arrow makers” (see the aforementioned “bailout bill” as it was passed).

- As a matter of fact, stop putting billions of dollars into pork barrel spending and put that money into providing a realistic education to our children.  For all you stingy “me” generationalists, “children are our future” and right now, the future doesn’t look too damned bright (socially, or intelligence-wise).

- Invest in the fricking future, which includes getting away from oil dependency and if that includes building solar, wind-powered, and nuclear power plants all over the damned country, so be it.  Hell, dig out the big tree in my back yard and put up a wind turbine if it could get me out of paying my utility bill.

– (ancillary note to the trophy Veep candidate Sarah “ya betcha” Palin, it’s not “new-kya-lar”)

- Let the people who bought $500,000 houses on 50k incomes take their lumps and if that means they gotta get evicted then rent somewhere, then so be it.  Lesson learned as far as I’m concerned and I have zero pity for them.

Between said idiots and the corrupt market, it’s their dumb asses that got us here in the first place.  When I bought my house, it was specifically below what I could afford, because — let’s face it — I like having the ability to eat out and go see movies.  Now with the economy the way it is, I may need to do a little less of each, but hey, maybe I can keep the house.  Novel fricking concept.

All I want to know is, when did the ideal of a government “for the people” get phased out for “for big business and the rich corporations who are supposed to trickle down their wealth but instead go on 400k junkets the day after receiving their bailout from the government?”

Do these thoughts of social responsibility make me some sort of evil bastard?  That’s kinda the way I’m feeling right now, and that’s not cool.

→ No CommentsCategories: Politics · Random babbling
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Taking on the Dragon

October 2, 2008 · No Comments

Sorry for the delay in posting/podcasting guys. Belated tax season, and work’s been picking up, but I wanted to take a moment to share the last bit of fun I had (Labor Day). For about the second time in 10 years, I actually found myself with a 3-day weekend. All weekend I sat around going “I should go ride the Dragon”.

That Sunday, I met up with a friend for lunch and whined at him about my indecision. His response was simply “you should have gone…”. So…. with implicit permission in hand, I found myself leaving Huntsville at 2pm on a Sunday afternoon and riding all the way to Robbinsville, NC to visit the trails up there. Got there at 7:30pm, got the last room at the local Microtel, and rested.

The next day (Monday), got up and rode the “Tail of the Dragon” which, if you have no idea what I’m talking about, is an 11 mile stretch of US 129 which goes between Tennessee and North Carolina. What’s so frickin special about that? Well… hmmm.. in that 11 miles, there are 318 curves. Some of them so tight that you feel as though you could literally kiss your own butt going around them.

In short, motorcyclist paradise.

Wayne gets shot by killboy on his way through the Dragon

Wayne gets shot by killboy on his way through the Dragon

→ No CommentsCategories: Motorcycling
Tagged: , , , , , ,

No podcast this week. — blogging from the beach.

September 14, 2008 · No Comments

Two days after Ike decimated the Houston area — where I have friends — I find myself pulled from my humble office space in Huntsville to a trade show in Orange Beach, Alabama.  Arriving about 5:30pm or so, I find myself sitting here at 7pm on the beach, kicked back on one of those uncomfortable wooden loungers and simultaneously finding myself both at total peace, and in total awe of the world around me.

Along the darkened beach, I hear nothing but the surf, and before me mere shadows of waves crashing into the sea wall.  To the left at about 45 degrees, I see a full moon, partially obscured by clowds, shining a bright beacon of light onto the surface below, making the waves glisten in the moonlight.

The clouds part and suddenly the entire left side of my peripheral — if I weren’t already looking that way — is gleaming with the same full moon and rising tide.  I know I write differently than I speak, but words simply cannot describe the majesty before me.  Given a blanket and pillow, I’d never return to the cold architecture of the hotel.  It’s at this inopportune time that my iPhone brings me back with a “ding” (you’ve got mail) chimes.

In short, this is one of those perspective-changing events that makes me realize just how insignificant any of us really are.  I’m not prepared to sign my life over to Jehovah’s Witnesses or anything, nor am I finding God as it were, or even signing up for Greenpeace, but if the universe is as random as imperialists would have us believe, then we — as a human race — hit the jackpot where our little blue heaven is concerned.

Now my biggest worry is that I see how badly we’re screwing it up.  Pollution?  yeah, whatever, but wars, nuclear proliferation, stupidity on a massive scale.  We as the human race are too immature as of yet to explore the universe.  As long as we can’t even put ourselves above what we believe “God” is and stop fighting long enough to figure this shit out, it all seems all for naught which is truly a bleeping shame, all things considered.

→ No CommentsCategories: Random babbling
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

I guess I really am the “anti-Christ”…

September 8, 2008 · 2 Comments

For years now, it’s been somewhat of a running joke amongst the Amiga computer crowd to refer to me as “the anti-christ” whenever I say something they don’t approve of (I run Amiga.org btw)…

Going all political and stuff, I am truly starting to wonder whether the term might actually apply, because I can’t help but seem to irritate friends when they start talking about John McCain and his new Jesus Freak Barbie doll, Palin…

Am I the only one left in America who’s thoroughly disgusted by this woman and her “sending troops to Iraq is a task from God” bullshit mentality?  We’ve already had 8 years of Bush using God to defend his actions when illegally invading a sovereign nation, but now Bush Jr (McCain) wants — as his second in command — a woman who’s even worse than Bush…?  Yet McCain wants to pretend he’s “not anything like Bush”….?  What the holy bleeping bleep man…!

Talking about it with my best friend today, I realized just how much she — and her Jesus Freakyness — really, really pisses me off.  I’m afraid I might have even embarrassed myself in the restaurant at lunch, God forbid I embarrassed my friend…

I’m ok if people need to believe in God.  I believe that God exists, I just have zero belief in any organized, man-made religion.  I also strongly believe in the separation of Church and State and we’ve seen what damage mixing the two causes over the last 8 years.  I’m reminded of one of my favorite quotes;

Religion, like masturbation, should be done in private.

Anyway.  Regardless of who you vote for, Democrat, Republican, whatever. I don’t care.  All I’m asking is that you just think about it before you vote.  I’d vote for “none of the above” before I would vote for anyone who so strongly pushes their belief that everything they do — right or wrong — is somehow certified by God Almighty.

If you can’t display the ten commandments in a courtroom, then you MUST remove God from the White House.  It’s only fair.  Something about a goose and gander getting it on or somesuch.

Sincerely spoken,

Wayne

→ 2 CommentsCategories: Politics
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , ,